The pursuit

I'm back in Singapore. We're now living in our new place at Loyang...its much smaller than my previous place but it still looks very cozy and chic and most importantly, it still feels like home. Not exactly sure when I will be returning to the Gold Coast..but it has to be before April 16th (the day I start my new job).

Things in my life have been moving so fast lately it is starting to scare me a little - completed my MEd two days ago, starting my career in 2 weeks (my first real whiff of financial independence!) and I'm getting hitched next week.

Exactly a year before today, I was clueless...then again, I'm still clueless about lots of things...like what I will be doing next year - a part of me tells me I should be practical and find a job in New Zealand so I can continue saving money for other things in life...but there is a side that still wants to do that PhD...

Where will I live in three years from now? Will I actually like New Zealand and will we stay on living there? Will I come back to Australia where opportunities are seemingly better? Should I return to Singapore (despite our love-hate relationship, its the only place where I feel at home)? What about China, UK or the Middle East? ...the world is a big place and options are endless.

And then there is a voice which keeps telling me I'm not doing enough. I'm just collecting all these things to validate me but what about doing something that will make a difference to others?? Over the last few years, I've become so selfish and self-obsessed with my level of success and achievements, I think I'm beginning to lose track of who I am. Perhaps I'm making up for all my under-achievements when I was younger...but I think I quite liked that dude who felt so passionately about saving animals and rainforests and wanted to dedicate his whole life to ending child prostitution.........who was not so caught up with what others thought.

Where is the balance? Does it even exist?