Self Help

So not every day is fantastic. There are moments I am riddled with self-doubts and I wonder why I am such an inadequate human being. I am not the best of planners and I disgust myself at the realisation that I am far, far away from being perfect. My flaws seem amplified and I worry myself sick about how I will survive the rest of my life filling roles as a father, son, husband, teacher, student, brother, friend etc.... Overwhelmed and void of inspiration...that is how I feel on some days.

My mind tells me that inspiration comes from within. That I should probably psych myself into feeling better, that I should not be bogged down by the trivial things that bug me, that I should focus on what is already good in my life and that the stress I feel is just not worth it....but there are other parts that crave for a lucky hit...a high to make me feel alive again...a lottery win perhaps??

Anyhow...2 updates.

1) We bought a cot and a change table. I quite like the cot...it is made of solid English oak wood and cost me more than a grand! There were cheaper options but I've convinced myself it is worth it..my little prince deserves the best and besides, it will last a while since it can be converted into a junior bed and a lounge. And hopefully, I will have more children in the future so it should be a worthwhile investment.

2) I have passed my probationary period. I suppose that means that I've planted my claws more firmly into the system and that they can't sack me too easily.

3) Onam is around the corner...I'm hoping to organise something on Friday night...we'll see.

Watch this space!