The pursuit

I'm back in Singapore. We're now living in our new place at Loyang...its much smaller than my previous place but it still looks very cozy and chic and most importantly, it still feels like home. Not exactly sure when I will be returning to the Gold Coast..but it has to be before April 16th (the day I start my new job).

Things in my life have been moving so fast lately it is starting to scare me a little - completed my MEd two days ago, starting my career in 2 weeks (my first real whiff of financial independence!) and I'm getting hitched next week.

Exactly a year before today, I was clueless...then again, I'm still clueless about lots of things...like what I will be doing next year - a part of me tells me I should be practical and find a job in New Zealand so I can continue saving money for other things in life...but there is a side that still wants to do that PhD...

Where will I live in three years from now? Will I actually like New Zealand and will we stay on living there? Will I come back to Australia where opportunities are seemingly better? Should I return to Singapore (despite our love-hate relationship, its the only place where I feel at home)? What about China, UK or the Middle East? ...the world is a big place and options are endless.

And then there is a voice which keeps telling me I'm not doing enough. I'm just collecting all these things to validate me but what about doing something that will make a difference to others?? Over the last few years, I've become so selfish and self-obsessed with my level of success and achievements, I think I'm beginning to lose track of who I am. Perhaps I'm making up for all my under-achievements when I was younger...but I think I quite liked that dude who felt so passionately about saving animals and rainforests and wanted to dedicate his whole life to ending child prostitution.........who was not so caught up with what others thought.

Where is the balance? Does it even exist?

Crash pics...

Here are pictures of the car which my friend crashed into. His car is a lot worse but he sent it to the workshop before I could take snaps...apparently its going to cost him $4000 dollars. (I did not set the date on my camera and for some reasosn it says 1st jan 2004)

Never Again...

It has to be the season of car crashes...

I was at a friend's farewell party yesterday night and of course being a traditional and orthodox Australian event (i was the only non-white there), there was lots of alcohol and everyone got miserably drunk (except me of course..<;)...and since sister dearest had taken the car to go clubbing, I stupidly decided to catch a ride back with one of my friends who was pissed drunk...

On hindsight, there were several signs that I should not have gotten into the car with him...especially after he started peeing in public, talking about unicorns and telling me I should adopt his kids after he dies...but me being all trusting just hopped in after making him take a "walk in a straight line for two metres" test.

Anyway, he speeds all the way back (often on the wrong side of the road), goes over curbs and pedestrian foot paths while I scream for my dear life and beg him to let me out...anyway, miraculously he gets me home (after missing several turns) and I scurry away like a rat freed from its trap.

Then, I meet him this morning and he tells me he crashed into a parked car on my street right after dropping me off!! Let me just tell you that both cars are really badly messed up...I'll put pictures up later if i can.

The police are on to the case now and it looks like he is going to be charged...I'm just happy that no one got hurt.

Remember boys and girls...never ever ever get into a car of someone who is under the influence of alcohol...no matter how confident they sound!!!...even if they force you to get in, just give them a mighty kick and run to the nearest taxi stand.

It's OVER!!!

I'm finally done with Prac...never again will I have to do work without getting paid!

12 more days before I'm done with my Masters and I return to Singapore...

Kartik

Lodged it

So after a four month ordeal, I've finally lodged my application for Australian Permanent Residency. God knows how long it is going to take before I actually get it...been told that it can vary between 2 months (if I'm extremely lucky) to a whopping 12 months...so I suppose the count down begins.

2 more days before I finish prac!!! At last, I'm going to get monetary remuneration for the work I do...

Kartik

Miserable Monday...

I'm not particularly fond of Mondays...I lay in bed for more than an hour today contemplating whether I should call in sick but realised it would mar my professional image so decided against it. Several things have not been going too right today (and its only 5.19pm)...ranging from kids giving me a tough time in class, losing my mobile phone (but found it later) and getting into an accident!

It was not my fault...this guy with a British accent just reversed straight into my car at the car park in Robina Town Centre. The car is in pretty bad shape and needs some serious repair work...its quite embarrassing driving it around...

Oh well...at least the guy who rammed into me was very apologetic and has assured to pay me for the damages...he looked more traumatised then me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less stressful.

The happenings and turns of life

The last couple of weeks have been rather gruelling. I'm on my final prac at Upper Coomera and I've been taking on a full teaching load. Anyone who thinks teaching is an easy job is either misinformed or delusional. Mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually draining, this is one profession that truly consumes you...To be honest, I'm not 100% sure if being a classroom teacher is something I want to do for the rest of my life but I know for a fact that I'd always want to be a part of this industry. As negative as I may sound sometimes, my teaching experience so far has been responsible for some of the most rewarding and empowering moments in my life. The college has not made any firm black and white offers of employment yet but everyone in the school including the principal has acknowledged that I would be replacing my supervising teacher next month. So till then, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

I've driven an awesome amount in the last two months (clocked more than 3000 kilometres). Having a driving license is really liberating. I can finally visit places which are not accessible by public transport, I don't have to wait for nearly an hour in the rain at bus-stops without shelters, I don't need my sister to chauffeur me anymore and I have bid goodbyes to train timetables that used to dictate my life. I've never felt so independent! I just don't understand why I did not do it years earlier. There are set backs of course...I walk a lot less nowadays and I think I'm putting on weight (but then again, looking at how scrawny I am, I doubt that is a very bad thing!)

I will be completing my masters course in less than 3 weeks! I remember a period in my life when I thought I did not even want to go to university because I felt I was not good enough. Now I feel that I will only be satisfied if I finish a PhD. I guess I've come along way... I still get angry when I think of all those people (including several teachers and insecure so called friends) who thought I was not good enough but I'm definitely grateful to those special people who actually believed in me when even I did not believe in myself. I'm thankful now for the times I've screwed up and for the exams I've failed because they have made me a stronger and better person.

Getting permanent residency in Australia is really proving to be a very drawn out and frustrating process. It has been more than 3 months since I started organising my papers and I am still waiting for my lawyers to lodge my application!! Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it considering the fact that I don't even intend to live here for the next few years...but I've invested so much and come this far it will be silly to give up...let's see what happens.

And for those who do not already know...I will be returning to Singapore in a few weeks (after my final submission and presentation).....to get legally married!!! So yes, after three and a half years of courtship, we've decided to make this big move at the ripe old age of 24. I have had to make several decisions over the last few years which have been life altering but nothing has been as big as this....but strangely I have never been more sure and confident of any of my decisions as this one...from the time I met her, I have always known that she is my spiritual partner and friend and the woman I had to spend the rest of my life with.......On a side note, its been amusing seeing the reactions of friends and family which have ranged from excitement and uncontainable joy to shock, disbelief and amusement! However, support and blessings from our family and people who matter have been overwhelming and I'm beginning to think they are more excited than I am (especially the ladies who are looking forward to a saree wearing opportunity).